💖Caylinlive❤
Perfection.
Humanity has reached perfection.
More often than not, you would be able to refute ANY statement that is using that word in a serious manner. Yet here I am, trying to convince you, that this might be the only instance of it being used appropriately.
We, as humans, all have a concept of what something perfect would entail. Even so, it is clear, at least it should be clear to all of us, that nothing in this universe, will ever be "perfect". We're a species cursed with insatisfaction, yet, when I look at Caylin, it breaks the rules of our nature.
If anyone asks me, what a perfect woman would look like, this the picture I'm sending:
In my eyes, she's got a 10/10 when it comes to looks, so yeah. Perfection. But even going beyond what I would call personally appealing, trust me, to call a girl perfect, I would HAVE to know, that she'll be loved by all my readers. And that she will. SHE WILL BE LOVED, by all of you.
So come on, let's look for the girl with the broken smile, and realize, the smile only broke, because she's busy putting a dildo in her mouth. But once that smile returns, DAMN! What a perfect smile that will be.
In any case, Caylin, if you're reading this, I've had you so many times, but somehow I want more. This, obviously, is just refering to mentally having you while pleasing myself. The "I want more", on the other hand, does apply perfectly though. Caylin is part of my "all-time-favorite-girls" group, that I always return to. No matter how much time has passed, since the last time I fapped to them, much like William Afton, they always come back. And then I, "come".
Just because of making it into that group, I have to congratulate her. Not a lot of sex-workers manage to establish "brand-loyalty". Does this mean, that I'm a superfan? Do I keep track of everything she does? Nah. But I follow her socials, I'll ocasionally stumble upon one of her streams, while randomly being on Chaturbate, and jump into then without second thought.
We're talking about a true beauty queen, only eighteen. I don't particulary know what the "18" would be refering to, but hey, that's the lyrics Adam Levine went with. Just goes to remind you, that you only need to be eighteen to be able to enjoy her content. Though personally, I've been admiring her from way earlier than just 18 years old. If anything, this woman raised me like her son, so YEAH, I would NOT mind calling her mommy.
Which makes it a first of me telling you, that I consider this model to be of my own finding. I didn't need a friend to introduce me to her, nor an instagram-plug, nor did I need her to come and beg me to review her (Would be a dream come true, though. Even without the reviewing part, I really just need some begging from her). NO! I found her all on my own, by chance, on Chaturbate, and got hooked. Hey, it's likely that's the case for many of you too.
Up until today, I feel confident in saying, that Caylin is a Chaturbate model FIRST, and an Onlyfans-Chick second. It means that she'll put more effort into giving you a good show, than stealing your money. This also means, for the first time in this blog, a dillema starts (And no, I won't be inserting any "Dillema - Nelly" jokes, because we're already doing the whole Maroon 5 spiel. Though, Caylin, I love you and I need you), because we have a girl, that you can already leagally see naked, FOR FREE. Why buy her Onlyfans then? You don't even have the need to pirate her content (necessarily), if you're just looking for her boobies. I mean, I literally just showed you some, here, want more?
That last one even had some pussy as a bonus. In fact, there's more pussy on this review, than in the entirety of Waifumiia's Onlyfans. But I'm getting sidetracked. As mentioned, the question is: "Why would anyone pay for the Onlyfans of a girl you can already watch do all that stuff for free?"
Three words: THE NETFLIX EFFECT.
Why don't you watch broadcast television anymore? Don't lie to me, I know you don't. Me myself, I own a TV, and I have access to multiple channels, still, I haven't used my television to actually televise, in years.
The last time I put on the Cartoon Network, was probably the last time I put on ANY Network. (That's a lie, I still rewatch a lot of their shit constantly. Not on the channel though.) The point is, even if you love "We Bare Bears", which I do, or in this case, Caylin, which I do too (Man, I wish I could do her), WHY WOULD YOU WAIT FOR THEM TO LET YOU WATCH?
Now, some of us, we love watching. It turns us on. You're back from a date, the girl tells you she wants some, you tell her to start touching herself, and: YOU WATCH. But just for a while! People don't like waiting, dammit. And the only time when it's okay to "wait" for some sexual action, it's the time before you KNOW there's some sexual action coming. That's why Chaturbate streams work, that's why porn is still making a profit, people get off on the Build-Up!! Ever noticed most PornHub videos have they're highpoints in viewership at the start, and then at the best part of the sex? Yeah, duh.
Now, imagine your porn would have 7 days of buildup and 5 hours of sex. That's too much, man! (Yes, I've been watching Bojack Horseman). I'll do you one better. Know how all pornos have SOME part, where it's just a blow-job? And it goes on for 4000000 minutes? And then you're like: "Girl, just put that shit in, come on!" That's what television-programming, and break-days inbetween streams for Caylin, feel like. That's why we invented The Netflix Effect.
Tired of advertisements? The Netflix Effect! Tired of waiting for a certain time to watch "Everybody Hates Chris"? The Netflix Effect will help! Tired of Sex? Ask Weezer! Tired of watching someone sucking dick for an hour? The Netflix Effect will solve every single problem, ever.
Even in existential crisis mode, with The Netflix Effect lets you pick when you want to die :D
Okay that got dark. But what does THE NETFLIX EFFECT do? It gives you control. And the ways in which Caylin lets you control her, damn, boy. You ain't even ready.
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At the time of writing this review, for 14.99$ a month (+transaction fees), a sub to CAYLINLIVE contains:
-336 Videos (Them videos good, some even over an hour long)
-3784 Photos (Amazing photoshoots, even some cosplay)
-1 Audio (Good enough)
-Tremendously enjoyable conversations thorugh Only-Fans DMs
-Pretty frequent Updates & Stories on her profile
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Indeed, never before have we had such high numbers in between those brackets. I can guarantee you, you will have both a figurative, and a literal BLAST when watching her content. Actually, that's not even her recent numbers, I bought her subscription back in November of last year! As you can probably expect, not only did I fail NNN tremendously, but also, those numbers are definetely much higher now. (I checked, they are(?)... Photos up to 4079, but videos are at 315, quite sad).
Starting with her videos, damn. What's there even to say? There's one for everyone. Literally: pussy-play, ass-play, mouth-play, POVs, roleplay, boob-jobs (And you know her boobs are perfect), shower videos, bikini videos, cosplay, food-fetish-stuff, ASMR, feet, sex toys, dildos, live-streams (+recordings), squirts, ass-worship (Which, yes, is different from !ass-play"), and god...
I could keep going, but I swear that would take me longer than writing the rest of this review. Those were just the ones, that I had on the top of my head. Imagine what size the list would be, if I actually cared to browse them for categories. At least the size of, DRUMROLLS PLEASE... My penis.
The point is, if you buy this, I couldn't ever see a scenario, where you'd be disappointed. She truly has something for every situation. You go ahead, buy this OF, show this to ANY PERSON in the world, and THAT's, why SHE WILL BE LOVED. Indeed, that's the title of the review again. Amazing.
As already mentioned, some of the videos you get are over an hour long, but most of those are archives from her streams. Good thing is, they're the Onlyfans-Exclusive streams. So, yeah, don't count on hour long premium POV's or something. Those are for sale though (At least 20-Minute ones). Which, speaking of the extra-sales, that's unfortunately the only place where you could find her lesbian experiences, or actual penises fucking the shit out of her. If you were hoping to see some of those, you won't within the price of the sub.
I'm not going to lie to you, BUT, I didn't buy a single one :( I dunno, back when I bought her subscription I was as tight in cash, as she looks in them clothes. So, yeah, couldn't afford it. But if I can take a guess, they're probably worth the money.
The only thing that I've actually thought of critiquing, is the small sense of "monotony" that can be felt with Caylin. The fact is: SHE RECORDS AND SHOOTS EVERYTHING IN THE SAME ROOM. So, yeah, even though she's a goddess, it's, ironically, like touring churches. Yeah, they're all "technically" different. They all look different at least, with different fassades, different lighting... If you catch a live mass, you'll hear different words every time, and yeah, technically, it's all with a differently clothed spokesperson... YET... Doesn't it all just feel like it's the same freaking church?
Churches, and Caylin's content are... They're very familiar. That perfect symmetry of her body, also poetically reflects the symmetry of her brand. Fans of Caylin will understand, I hope.
Basically, her monotony and familiarity are a good thing, in the end. Even if you wish there was a little more variety, you appreciate the trust you can have in what you're getting. It's much lovelier to be assured a good treatment, than to have to deal with a wildcard each week. Indirectly speaking, yes, I'm turning Caylin into my new religion, to which I'll pray in a temple each week.
If only...
Same things applies to her photos, yes, the background might always look the same (As do the titties and ass), but hey, it looks good, the costumes are amazing, always, and my erection never fails to appear. The amount of pictures is also VERY apt. Like, in most profiles, you'll have to expect countless double-uploads. These Onlyfans-Harlots will both figuratively (and sometimes literally) milk the same boob-pic dry for months. With Caylin, honestly, I didn't encounter even ONE photoset twice. And like, honestly, who has the time to actually fap to all of them? It's almost 4000 pictures, how could i do that in a month?
But, not only, is this the first time I can confidently say, that you WON'T have time to finish up her content in just 31 days, NO, it's also the first time EVER, that I'd recommend an Onlyfans-girl just for her chat. I spoke to Caylin A LOT. Day in, night in, a couple of fingers were in too.
I was just a random buyer, but holy shit. This girl responds frequently AND carefully. I asked her everything from kinks to her favorite jazz musicians, and let me tell you, her taste of music is probably as good as the taste of her pussy. Not that I'd know, but HEY, Caylin, if you feel like proving me wrong, I wouldn't mind.
Speaking of taste, just to prove her interestingness, here's a taste of her chats:
By the way, with all that "sweetie" thing, I do admit, her texting feels very MILFy... Which isn't bad, it's just unexpected. I do think that's to "blame" on her english, because, well... In speaking, you'll notice her accent will either "turn", into a turn-on, or a turn-off, in writing, I admit, it becomes VERY distracting sometimes. But again, in speaking... Most of the times a turn-on... But whatever, I got a thing for european chicks... Foreigners,.. Eye of the tiger and shizz.
To sum this all up, I guess you're seeing how this subscription is very much worth your time. I've been told it's weird to be in my blog, and find out all the Onlyfans-Profiles I've reviewed so far are so negative. With how much I love boobs, yes, I find it weird too. But ultimately, it's more about what you get, than my connection to these girls. I mean, money is money after all, and, unless you got it, you have to watch out for the kind of porn you buy. It's essential.
So, as Caylin beautifully demonstrated... It's possible to actually give what you pay for. Let her be an example, my first "must-buy" review, our next wet dream, and your next purchase.
Let's wrap this with the last lyrics of that Maroon 5 song, shall we?
This, I direct directly to you, Caylin: My heart is full, and my door is always open, you can come at any time. (If you do, you will certainly come, indeed)
I grant Caylinlive and her Onlyfans subscription,
a 10/10
-Johnny G. Johnson
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